Well, unlike most people in this country, we haven't had our "Christmas" yet (meaning our gifts are still on the table). We did open gifts last night when Adam's parents came to give us their presents (and to get their's). But the majority of the gifts are still waiting to be opened because my mother is coming in tonight and we will open the rest of them tomorrow morning.
My due date is tomorrow and we are all still waiting for our "best" gift this year. Now that I'm so close, I am truly grateful that the Lords' timing for this child to be born has not happened yet (And I'm so very thankful I can actually say that and mean it!). This way, my mother will not only enjoy the first few days of this child's life, but also the first hours and minutes. What a blessing that will be for her and for me! With her living so very far away, I never thought that I would have the opportunity to have her there with me. This is her 9th grand-baby and she has not seen any of them earlier then 6 months of age. It just goes to show me, that God really does know best! And in the end, His way is still perfect!
I do pray that this child will come in the next few days, so that s/he will arrive at the beginning of peoples vacation and not at the end. I need those extra physical hands to help. Not that I'm afraid of being alone with 5 children (because that will come soon enough), it's just that I need time to adjust a newborn to our schedule and visa-versa. Every other mother of multiple children agrees with me. So I don't feel real selfish with that request.
Anyway, I pray that you all had a good and wonderful holiday. And I earnestly pray that we will have "baby news" very, very soon!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
The Cradle and the Cross, part 2
by Dave Hunt of the Berean Call
Nehemiah tells us that it was "in the month Nisan, in the twentieth year of Artaxerxes the king" (2:1) that he received the authorization to rebuild Jerusalem. When the day of the month was not given the first day was intended. There were several Artaxerxes, but only one, Longimanus, who ruled more than 20 years-from 465-425 B.C. Thus we have the key date from which this incredible prophecy was to be calculated: Nisan 1445 B.C.
At the end of 69 of these "weeks" (7x69 = 483 years) "Messiah the Prince" would be made known to Israel (Dn 9:25) and then "be cut off [slain], but not for himself" (v 26). Counting 483 years of 360 days each (the Hebrew and Babylonian calendar), a total of 173,880 days from Nisan 1445 B.C., brings us to Sunday, April 6, A.D. 32. On that very day, now celebrated as Palm Sunday, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a young donkey and was hailed as Messiah the Prince! (Zechariah 9:9 was fulfilled at the same time.)
There is, however, an even deeper meaning to the phrase, "In the fulness of time...." April 6, A.D. 32 was, on the Hebrew calendar, tenth of Nisan. On that day the passover lamb was taken from the flock and placed under observation for four days to make certain that it was "without blemish." During the same four days, Christ, whom John the Baptist had hailed as "the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world" (Jn 1:29), was likewise on display before Israel. On the fourteenth of Nisan, "the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it [the passover lamb] in the evening [between 3:00 and 6:00 P.M.]" (Ex 12:6). It was during that precise time period that Jesus died on the cross!
It is fascinating to see how God uses man's decrees and even man's connivings against Him to fulfill His Word. The rabbis had determined not to arrest Jesus during passover, "lest there be an uproar of the people" (Mk 14:2). Yet that was when He had to die. Judas was not only Satan's pawn, but God's. Even the "thirty pieces of silver" he so shrewdly bargained for fulfilled prophecy (Zec 11:12-13). As Peter would declare in his Pentecost sermon, "Him, being delivered by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God, ye have taken, and by wicked hands have crucified and slain" (Acts 2:23). Paul wrote, "Christ our passover [lamb] is sacrificed for us" (1 Cor 5:7).
The fourteenth of Nisan began, as Jewish days did, at sunset Wednesday evening. That night Jesus and His disciples had the "last supper" in the upper room where they were preparing to eat the passover the following night. At this meal "before the feast of the passover" (Jn 13:21), Jesus told His disciples, "One of you shall betray me" (Jn 13:1). Earlier He said, significantly, "I tell you before...that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am he" (Jn 13:19). The word "he" is in italics and does not appear in the original. Jesus was declaring once again to His disciples that He was Yahweh, the I AM of Israel, who tells beforehand what will happen and makes certain that it comes to pass (Is 46:9-10).
Arrested by the Judas-led troop in the Garden later that night, Christ was taken secretly to the palace of Caiaphas, the high priest. A sham trial before the Sanhedrin, with hastily called false witnesses, convened sometime after midnight, condemned Christ to death as dawn broke. Shortly thereafter, Pilate, the Roman governor, was notified of the emergency. Hurriedly taken down side streets, the prisoner was received into the citadel at "the third hour" (Mk 15:25), about 9:00 A.M., Nisan 14. All over Israel preparations were underway to kill the passover lamb, which was to be eaten that night.
Jerusalem was crowded and in a state of great excitement. Valuing public relations, Pilate consulted his ever-volatile citizens and let them decide the prisoner's fate. Incited by the rabbis, the bloodthirsty rabble suddenly turned against the One who had miraculously healed and fed so many of them. "Crucify him, crucify him" (Lk 23:21). "His blood be on us, and on our children" (Mt 27:25). The horrible chant echoed down Jerusalem's narrow streets.
Shortly before noon the soldiers had finished their vicious, depraved sport. Jesus, scourged almost into unconsciousness and beaten about the face until he was nearly unrecognizable, was led through the frenzied, screaming mob out of the city to "the place of the skull." By high noon, the One whom Jerusalem, in fulfillment of prophecy, had the previous Sunday hailed as its long-awaited Messiah, was hanging naked, in shame and agony, on the center cross between two thieves. Man had crucified his Creator! Angels recoiled in horror and the sun hid its face.
The next three hours of that Thursday afternoon the earth was darkened mysteriously(Mt 27:45) as God "laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Is 53:6). Thursday? Not "Good Friday"? Indeed not. Jesus himself had said, "For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth [i.e., in that part of Hades known as "Abraham's bosom"]" (Mt 12:40; Lk 16:22). The gospel includes the declaration that Christ "rose again the third day" (1 Cor 15:4).
Obviously, had Christ been crucified on Friday, He couldn't possibly have spent three days and three nights in the grave by Sunday morning. We are distinctly told that the angel rolled away the stone "as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week" (Mt 28:1). The tomb was already empty at that point, so Christ must have risen from the dead sometime prior to dawn.
Yet the myth of a "Good Friday" crucifixion persists, with much ritual and dogma built upon that obvious mistake. In this fact alone we have sufficient evidence of Rome's manufacture and endorsement of untruth to cast doubt upon everything else it affirms with equal dogmatism. And what can be said for the Protestants who, by the millions, so willingly go along with this error?
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday-does it really matter? Yes! The day of our Lord's crucifixion is of the utmost importance. If Christ was not three days and three nights in the grave, then He lied. Moreover, His death, to fulfill prophecy, had to occur at the very time the passover lambs were being slain throughout Israel. It is an astronomical fact that Nisan 14, A.D. 32, fell on Thursday.
"And it was the preparation of the passover....The Jews therefore...that the bodies should not remain upon the cross on the sabbath day...besought Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that they might be taken away" (Jn 19:14,31). Wait! Not a bone of the passover lamb (Ex 12:46) or of the Messiah (Ps 34:20) could be broken. Not knowing why he did it, "one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side" (Jn 19:34), fulfilling yet another scripture: "they shall look upon me whom they pierced" (Zec 12:10).
John explains that the "sabbath" which began at sunset the Thursday Christ was crucified "was an high day." It was, in fact, the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, of which the first and last days were special sabbaths during which no work was to be done. That "high" sabbath ended Friday at sunset and was immediately followed by the weekly sabbath which ended at sunset on Saturday. Thus two sabbaths followed Christ's death, preventing the women from coming to the grave until the third day, Sunday morning.
The rabbis thought that having Jesus crucified proved He was not the Messiah. In fact, it was one more proof that He was! In taking His clothes for a souvenir, in gambling for his robe and giving Him vinegar mixed with gall to drink, the soldiers unwittingly added to that proof the fulfillment of yet more prophecies (Ps 22:18; 69:21). The nails driven into hands and feet by Roman soldiers and the spear that pierced His side drew forth the blood of our redemption-all in fulfillment of prophecy!
It is impossible to remain an honest skeptic after comparing what the prophets said with the historical record of Jesus Christ, from the cradle to the Cross. Proof of the Resurrection, which we must leave for another time, is even more powerful! We have solid reason for our faith in Christ. Knowing the facts increases our joy and gives us courage to present the gospel with boldness and conviction.
Nehemiah tells us that it was "in the month Nisan, in the twentieth year of Artaxerxes the king" (2:1) that he received the authorization to rebuild Jerusalem. When the day of the month was not given the first day was intended. There were several Artaxerxes, but only one, Longimanus, who ruled more than 20 years-from 465-425 B.C. Thus we have the key date from which this incredible prophecy was to be calculated: Nisan 1445 B.C.
At the end of 69 of these "weeks" (7x69 = 483 years) "Messiah the Prince" would be made known to Israel (Dn 9:25) and then "be cut off [slain], but not for himself" (v 26). Counting 483 years of 360 days each (the Hebrew and Babylonian calendar), a total of 173,880 days from Nisan 1445 B.C., brings us to Sunday, April 6, A.D. 32. On that very day, now celebrated as Palm Sunday, Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a young donkey and was hailed as Messiah the Prince! (Zechariah 9:9 was fulfilled at the same time.)
There is, however, an even deeper meaning to the phrase, "In the fulness of time...." April 6, A.D. 32 was, on the Hebrew calendar, tenth of Nisan. On that day the passover lamb was taken from the flock and placed under observation for four days to make certain that it was "without blemish." During the same four days, Christ, whom John the Baptist had hailed as "the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world" (Jn 1:29), was likewise on display before Israel. On the fourteenth of Nisan, "the whole assembly of the congregation of Israel shall kill it [the passover lamb] in the evening [between 3:00 and 6:00 P.M.]" (Ex 12:6). It was during that precise time period that Jesus died on the cross!
It is fascinating to see how God uses man's decrees and even man's connivings against Him to fulfill His Word. The rabbis had determined not to arrest Jesus during passover, "lest there be an uproar of the people" (Mk 14:2). Yet that was when He had to die. Judas was not only Satan's pawn, but God's. Even the "thirty pieces of silver" he so shrewdly bargained for fulfilled prophecy (Zec 11:12-13). As Peter would declare in his Pentecost sermon, "Him, being delivered by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God, ye have taken, and by wicked hands have crucified and slain" (Acts 2:23). Paul wrote, "Christ our passover [lamb] is sacrificed for us" (1 Cor 5:7).
The fourteenth of Nisan began, as Jewish days did, at sunset Wednesday evening. That night Jesus and His disciples had the "last supper" in the upper room where they were preparing to eat the passover the following night. At this meal "before the feast of the passover" (Jn 13:21), Jesus told His disciples, "One of you shall betray me" (Jn 13:1). Earlier He said, significantly, "I tell you before...that, when it is come to pass, ye may believe that I am he" (Jn 13:19). The word "he" is in italics and does not appear in the original. Jesus was declaring once again to His disciples that He was Yahweh, the I AM of Israel, who tells beforehand what will happen and makes certain that it comes to pass (Is 46:9-10).
Arrested by the Judas-led troop in the Garden later that night, Christ was taken secretly to the palace of Caiaphas, the high priest. A sham trial before the Sanhedrin, with hastily called false witnesses, convened sometime after midnight, condemned Christ to death as dawn broke. Shortly thereafter, Pilate, the Roman governor, was notified of the emergency. Hurriedly taken down side streets, the prisoner was received into the citadel at "the third hour" (Mk 15:25), about 9:00 A.M., Nisan 14. All over Israel preparations were underway to kill the passover lamb, which was to be eaten that night.
Jerusalem was crowded and in a state of great excitement. Valuing public relations, Pilate consulted his ever-volatile citizens and let them decide the prisoner's fate. Incited by the rabbis, the bloodthirsty rabble suddenly turned against the One who had miraculously healed and fed so many of them. "Crucify him, crucify him" (Lk 23:21). "His blood be on us, and on our children" (Mt 27:25). The horrible chant echoed down Jerusalem's narrow streets.
Shortly before noon the soldiers had finished their vicious, depraved sport. Jesus, scourged almost into unconsciousness and beaten about the face until he was nearly unrecognizable, was led through the frenzied, screaming mob out of the city to "the place of the skull." By high noon, the One whom Jerusalem, in fulfillment of prophecy, had the previous Sunday hailed as its long-awaited Messiah, was hanging naked, in shame and agony, on the center cross between two thieves. Man had crucified his Creator! Angels recoiled in horror and the sun hid its face.
The next three hours of that Thursday afternoon the earth was darkened mysteriously(Mt 27:45) as God "laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Is 53:6). Thursday? Not "Good Friday"? Indeed not. Jesus himself had said, "For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth [i.e., in that part of Hades known as "Abraham's bosom"]" (Mt 12:40; Lk 16:22). The gospel includes the declaration that Christ "rose again the third day" (1 Cor 15:4).
Obviously, had Christ been crucified on Friday, He couldn't possibly have spent three days and three nights in the grave by Sunday morning. We are distinctly told that the angel rolled away the stone "as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week" (Mt 28:1). The tomb was already empty at that point, so Christ must have risen from the dead sometime prior to dawn.
Yet the myth of a "Good Friday" crucifixion persists, with much ritual and dogma built upon that obvious mistake. In this fact alone we have sufficient evidence of Rome's manufacture and endorsement of untruth to cast doubt upon everything else it affirms with equal dogmatism. And what can be said for the Protestants who, by the millions, so willingly go along with this error?
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday-does it really matter? Yes! The day of our Lord's crucifixion is of the utmost importance. If Christ was not three days and three nights in the grave, then He lied. Moreover, His death, to fulfill prophecy, had to occur at the very time the passover lambs were being slain throughout Israel. It is an astronomical fact that Nisan 14, A.D. 32, fell on Thursday.
"And it was the preparation of the passover....The Jews therefore...that the bodies should not remain upon the cross on the sabbath day...besought Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that they might be taken away" (Jn 19:14,31). Wait! Not a bone of the passover lamb (Ex 12:46) or of the Messiah (Ps 34:20) could be broken. Not knowing why he did it, "one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side" (Jn 19:34), fulfilling yet another scripture: "they shall look upon me whom they pierced" (Zec 12:10).
John explains that the "sabbath" which began at sunset the Thursday Christ was crucified "was an high day." It was, in fact, the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, of which the first and last days were special sabbaths during which no work was to be done. That "high" sabbath ended Friday at sunset and was immediately followed by the weekly sabbath which ended at sunset on Saturday. Thus two sabbaths followed Christ's death, preventing the women from coming to the grave until the third day, Sunday morning.
The rabbis thought that having Jesus crucified proved He was not the Messiah. In fact, it was one more proof that He was! In taking His clothes for a souvenir, in gambling for his robe and giving Him vinegar mixed with gall to drink, the soldiers unwittingly added to that proof the fulfillment of yet more prophecies (Ps 22:18; 69:21). The nails driven into hands and feet by Roman soldiers and the spear that pierced His side drew forth the blood of our redemption-all in fulfillment of prophecy!
It is impossible to remain an honest skeptic after comparing what the prophets said with the historical record of Jesus Christ, from the cradle to the Cross. Proof of the Resurrection, which we must leave for another time, is even more powerful! We have solid reason for our faith in Christ. Knowing the facts increases our joy and gives us courage to present the gospel with boldness and conviction.
Monday, December 24, 2007
The Cradle and the Cross, part 1
By Dave Hunt of the Berean Call
Another Christmas season is here. Why December 25, since it's unlikely that Jesus was born at this time of year? The Roman Church simply took the Saturnalia, a licentious celebration of the winter solstice dedicated to Saturn, and Christianized it in order to convert pagan Rome. The actual effect was to paganize official Christianity. For example, statues of Isis and Horus were renamed Mary and Jesus so that pagans could continue their idolatry under Christian names. Pagan customs involving vestments, candles, incense, images and processions were incorporated into Church worship and continue today. No authentic history denies these facts.
Would the world, then, be better off without Christmas? Atheists think so and wish to remove all manger scenes and crosses from public places. Rather than joining the enemies of God in denouncing Christmas, however, might we not better cultivate the bits of truth that shine through the lamentable commercialization and paganism? This is a unique time of year for presenting the gospel to the world, so let us take advantage of the opportunity.
Christ's birth and the details of His life, death and resurrection were foretold centuries before by the Hebrew prophets. No such prophecies preceded the births of Buddha, Confucius, Muhammad, et al. Biblical prophecy fulfilled is the most powerful persuader we have. Paul used it in converting the lost and turned the world of his day upside down. So should we.
In Romans 1:1-4 we see Paul's approach. He refers to "the gospel of God, (which he [God] had promised afore by his prophets in the holy scriptures)." Christianity is not a first-century invention. It is, in fact, the fulfillment of that which, with one voice, the Hebrew prophets consistently foretold for centuries.
There are more than 300 Messianic prophecies in the Old Testament. Why? So Israel could identify Him, when in the fullness of time God would send forth his Son (Gal 4:4). The third chapter in the Bible contains the first prophecy of the Messiah's coming, His virgin birth ("the seed of the woman") and His destruction of Satan (Gn 3:15). The prophets declared that He must be of the "lineage of David" (Jer 23:5; 2 Sm 7:10-16; Ps 89:3-4) and rule upon David's throne. To prove that Jesus met this criteria, Matthew and Luke begin with the genealogy of Joseph and Mary.
Having rejected Jesus, the Jews still hope for their Messiah to come-but they hope in vain. Jesus Christ fulfilled Malachi 3:1 ("the Lord [Messiah], whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple") when He cast out the money changers and merchants (Mk 11:15). The destruction of the temple 38 years later in A.D. 70 made it impossible during the last 1,923 years for any would-be Messiah to fulfill that scripture. Moreover, all genealogic records were lost in the destruction of the temple, so a future "Messiah" would not be able to prove the necessary descent from David.
Yes, the temple will soon be rebuilt. Instead of cleansing it, however, as Christ did, Antichrist will defile it with his image and force the world to worship him as God: "he as God sitteth in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God" (2 Thes 2:4).
Jacob prophesied, "The sceptre shall not depart from Judah...until Shiloh [Messiah] come..." (Gn 49:10). Shortly after the birth of Jesus, about A.D. 7, the sceptre departed when the Jews lost the right to enforce the death penalty. Thereafter, it was forever too late for Messiah to come. By God's grace, however, He had already come; and He will come again to rescue at Armageddon those who rejected Him the first time. They will know Him by the marks of Calvary ("they shall look upon me whom they pierced"; Zec 12:10). The sceptre having departed from Judah, Christ, instead of being stoned by the Jews, was executed by the Romans, whose supreme penalty was crucifixion. Thus was fulfilled yet another prophecy: "...they pierced my hands and my feet" (Ps 22:16)!
But back to the cradle. Caesar Augustus had no inkling of the momentous effect of his decree "that all the world should [return to the city of one's birth to] be taxed" (Lk 2:1). That decree brought Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem in time for the birth of her "firstborn son" (so she had other children) in fulfillment of Micah 5:2: "But thou, Bethlehem...out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel...."
What depth of meaning there is in the simple statement, "when the fulness of time was come, God sent forth his Son" (Gal 4:4)! His birth had to occur before the sceptre departed from Judah; His death, after. His birthplace was determined by a Roman decree; His death and its method of execution, by the Roman occupation of Israel. He had to come before the temple was destroyed and with it the genealogic records.
The "fulness of time" has passed. No one else can meet the Messianic criteria laid down by the Hebrew prophets! That simple phrase, however, carries a much deeper meaning than we have seen above. If the timing of His birth causes us to marvel, the timing of Christ's death is even more precise and full of meaning. Daniel prophesied the very day of His death.
Through the writings of Jeremiah, Daniel learned that the Babylonian captivity would last 70 years (Dn 9:2). God had commanded that each seven years the Hebrew slaves should be set free, debtors forgiven and the land given a one-year sabbath of rest (Ex 21:2; Dt 15:1,2,12; Lv 25:2-4). For 490 years Israel had disobeyed this precept. As judgment, Jews became slaves of Babylon while their land rested the 70 years of sabbaths it had been denied.
While confessing this sin, pondering and praying, Daniel was given the revelation that another period of 490 years (70 weeks of years) lay ahead for his people and for Jerusalem (9:24). At the end of that time all of Israel's sins would be purged, all prophecy fulfilled and ended, and the Messiah would be reigning on David's throne in Jerusalem. These 70 weeks of years (490 years) were to be counted "from the going forth of the commandment to restore and to build Jerusalem" (v 25). That crucial date is given to us in Scripture.
Another Christmas season is here. Why December 25, since it's unlikely that Jesus was born at this time of year? The Roman Church simply took the Saturnalia, a licentious celebration of the winter solstice dedicated to Saturn, and Christianized it in order to convert pagan Rome. The actual effect was to paganize official Christianity. For example, statues of Isis and Horus were renamed Mary and Jesus so that pagans could continue their idolatry under Christian names. Pagan customs involving vestments, candles, incense, images and processions were incorporated into Church worship and continue today. No authentic history denies these facts.
Would the world, then, be better off without Christmas? Atheists think so and wish to remove all manger scenes and crosses from public places. Rather than joining the enemies of God in denouncing Christmas, however, might we not better cultivate the bits of truth that shine through the lamentable commercialization and paganism? This is a unique time of year for presenting the gospel to the world, so let us take advantage of the opportunity.
Christ's birth and the details of His life, death and resurrection were foretold centuries before by the Hebrew prophets. No such prophecies preceded the births of Buddha, Confucius, Muhammad, et al. Biblical prophecy fulfilled is the most powerful persuader we have. Paul used it in converting the lost and turned the world of his day upside down. So should we.
In Romans 1:1-4 we see Paul's approach. He refers to "the gospel of God, (which he [God] had promised afore by his prophets in the holy scriptures)." Christianity is not a first-century invention. It is, in fact, the fulfillment of that which, with one voice, the Hebrew prophets consistently foretold for centuries.
There are more than 300 Messianic prophecies in the Old Testament. Why? So Israel could identify Him, when in the fullness of time God would send forth his Son (Gal 4:4). The third chapter in the Bible contains the first prophecy of the Messiah's coming, His virgin birth ("the seed of the woman") and His destruction of Satan (Gn 3:15). The prophets declared that He must be of the "lineage of David" (Jer 23:5; 2 Sm 7:10-16; Ps 89:3-4) and rule upon David's throne. To prove that Jesus met this criteria, Matthew and Luke begin with the genealogy of Joseph and Mary.
Having rejected Jesus, the Jews still hope for their Messiah to come-but they hope in vain. Jesus Christ fulfilled Malachi 3:1 ("the Lord [Messiah], whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple") when He cast out the money changers and merchants (Mk 11:15). The destruction of the temple 38 years later in A.D. 70 made it impossible during the last 1,923 years for any would-be Messiah to fulfill that scripture. Moreover, all genealogic records were lost in the destruction of the temple, so a future "Messiah" would not be able to prove the necessary descent from David.
Yes, the temple will soon be rebuilt. Instead of cleansing it, however, as Christ did, Antichrist will defile it with his image and force the world to worship him as God: "he as God sitteth in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God" (2 Thes 2:4).
Jacob prophesied, "The sceptre shall not depart from Judah...until Shiloh [Messiah] come..." (Gn 49:10). Shortly after the birth of Jesus, about A.D. 7, the sceptre departed when the Jews lost the right to enforce the death penalty. Thereafter, it was forever too late for Messiah to come. By God's grace, however, He had already come; and He will come again to rescue at Armageddon those who rejected Him the first time. They will know Him by the marks of Calvary ("they shall look upon me whom they pierced"; Zec 12:10). The sceptre having departed from Judah, Christ, instead of being stoned by the Jews, was executed by the Romans, whose supreme penalty was crucifixion. Thus was fulfilled yet another prophecy: "...they pierced my hands and my feet" (Ps 22:16)!
But back to the cradle. Caesar Augustus had no inkling of the momentous effect of his decree "that all the world should [return to the city of one's birth to] be taxed" (Lk 2:1). That decree brought Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem in time for the birth of her "firstborn son" (so she had other children) in fulfillment of Micah 5:2: "But thou, Bethlehem...out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel...."
What depth of meaning there is in the simple statement, "when the fulness of time was come, God sent forth his Son" (Gal 4:4)! His birth had to occur before the sceptre departed from Judah; His death, after. His birthplace was determined by a Roman decree; His death and its method of execution, by the Roman occupation of Israel. He had to come before the temple was destroyed and with it the genealogic records.
The "fulness of time" has passed. No one else can meet the Messianic criteria laid down by the Hebrew prophets! That simple phrase, however, carries a much deeper meaning than we have seen above. If the timing of His birth causes us to marvel, the timing of Christ's death is even more precise and full of meaning. Daniel prophesied the very day of His death.
Through the writings of Jeremiah, Daniel learned that the Babylonian captivity would last 70 years (Dn 9:2). God had commanded that each seven years the Hebrew slaves should be set free, debtors forgiven and the land given a one-year sabbath of rest (Ex 21:2; Dt 15:1,2,12; Lv 25:2-4). For 490 years Israel had disobeyed this precept. As judgment, Jews became slaves of Babylon while their land rested the 70 years of sabbaths it had been denied.
While confessing this sin, pondering and praying, Daniel was given the revelation that another period of 490 years (70 weeks of years) lay ahead for his people and for Jerusalem (9:24). At the end of that time all of Israel's sins would be purged, all prophecy fulfilled and ended, and the Messiah would be reigning on David's throne in Jerusalem. These 70 weeks of years (490 years) were to be counted "from the going forth of the commandment to restore and to build Jerusalem" (v 25). That crucial date is given to us in Scripture.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Oh, the weather outside is frightful....
We were supposed to get this big snow storm last night, with up to 12" of snow. What did we get? Rain. Just rain. And then it got cold enough this morning to freeze. Rain + freezing = bad driving weather. And now it's decided to snow. So we have ice + snow on top = really bad driving weather. But, alas, 'tis the season, right?
We went to the hospital last night because I had been having constant contraction since 1:50 pm Friday afternoon, about 8-15 minutes apart. At 2:30 pm yesterday, they be began to be about 5-8 minutes apart. After about 3 hours of that, they got to 3-5 minutes apart and were getting stronger. So, we arrived at about 8:30 pm last night at the hospital and when they checked me, I was dilated to 2 cm (I have been at 1 cm since 36 weeks) and the baby's head was right at the cervix. So, I reclined there and after an hour, no change. I got up and walked for 30 minutes and was really feeling the contractions and pressure. I reclined for 30 minutes more and when they checked me, no change. I suppose that if things had changed for the good, that they wouldn't change back again. But I don't think that the reclining position is all that great in labor. So, at 12 am or so, they sent us home. I was so disappointed that it was all I could do to hold back my tears until we were in the car.
For the first time in a looooong time, I was upset enough that I couldn't even pray. I told my husband I was trying not to be mad, but was failing. He asked, "Mad at what?". And I told him, "It's not really made at what. It's mad at who." Which really is not a good place to be, I know. But it's where I was at the time. I'm not mad or upset anymore. Not really. I'm just trying not to think about it. I know this is silly, esp. for me, to be saying this on this side of my due date (since Malachi was my earliest baby, and he was a day "late").
I'm trying, folks. I really am. Some days are better then others. And some days are...well...not worth talking about.
You all have a good Sunday and worship our Lord like He deserves.
We went to the hospital last night because I had been having constant contraction since 1:50 pm Friday afternoon, about 8-15 minutes apart. At 2:30 pm yesterday, they be began to be about 5-8 minutes apart. After about 3 hours of that, they got to 3-5 minutes apart and were getting stronger. So, we arrived at about 8:30 pm last night at the hospital and when they checked me, I was dilated to 2 cm (I have been at 1 cm since 36 weeks) and the baby's head was right at the cervix. So, I reclined there and after an hour, no change. I got up and walked for 30 minutes and was really feeling the contractions and pressure. I reclined for 30 minutes more and when they checked me, no change. I suppose that if things had changed for the good, that they wouldn't change back again. But I don't think that the reclining position is all that great in labor. So, at 12 am or so, they sent us home. I was so disappointed that it was all I could do to hold back my tears until we were in the car.
For the first time in a looooong time, I was upset enough that I couldn't even pray. I told my husband I was trying not to be mad, but was failing. He asked, "Mad at what?". And I told him, "It's not really made at what. It's mad at who." Which really is not a good place to be, I know. But it's where I was at the time. I'm not mad or upset anymore. Not really. I'm just trying not to think about it. I know this is silly, esp. for me, to be saying this on this side of my due date (since Malachi was my earliest baby, and he was a day "late").
I'm trying, folks. I really am. Some days are better then others. And some days are...well...not worth talking about.
You all have a good Sunday and worship our Lord like He deserves.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Howdy
I won't keep you long simply because I don't have much to say. But I do feel "different" today. I can't put my finger on it, though. I'm running waddling to the bathroom quite often today, since something is cleaning my out good! But that's not it either. I'm having a lot of contractions, some in my lower abdomen and some in the upper part. But that still isn't the "difference" that I feel. I don't know what it is. I'm more clear-headed today then I was yesterday or even the last few days. The baby isn't moving a whole lot, but enough that I'm not worried.
I wish I could say "it's because I know I'm in labor", but alas, I can't say that. Well...I suppose I could say that. But how foolish would that be? Esp. when I don't have any reason to say that (except for wish~full thinking). :0)
Anyway, ya'll have a good day. I'll keep in touch.
I wish I could say "it's because I know I'm in labor", but alas, I can't say that. Well...I suppose I could say that. But how foolish would that be? Esp. when I don't have any reason to say that (except for wish~full thinking). :0)
Anyway, ya'll have a good day. I'll keep in touch.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Something profound
I found this through someone else's blog and it is so true! And to think that this comes from a young boy. I know many adults who don't have this kind of wisdom.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Come again?
Adam said something last night that concerns me. He isn't doing well, that's obvious. I think the lack of sleep he's been suffering from is beginning to take it's toll on not only his mind, but on his eyes as well. And I'm not sure what to do to help him. I know the lack of sleep is my fault ~ or at least due to the pregnancy because I toss and turn so much and that keeps him from not sleeping well. But since I can't control me not sleeping well, how can I get him to sleep well?
I'm sure you are all wondering what he said. Well, I was getting ready for a shower and he looks at me and says "You're pretty." What? He wasn't that far from me and I wasn't standing behind anything, so it must be his eyes are playing tricks on him. You see, I'm 2 days shy of being 39 weeks pregnant (and I'm huge!!!). And with that comes me being as close to being a whale as any human could get, I waddle as much as a King penguin and I'm as graceful as a child just learning how to walk. And he says I'm pretty?
Yep, he's not well. The diagnosis has been made. Now what to do about the cure....?
I'm sure you are all wondering what he said. Well, I was getting ready for a shower and he looks at me and says "You're pretty." What? He wasn't that far from me and I wasn't standing behind anything, so it must be his eyes are playing tricks on him. You see, I'm 2 days shy of being 39 weeks pregnant (and I'm huge!!!). And with that comes me being as close to being a whale as any human could get, I waddle as much as a King penguin and I'm as graceful as a child just learning how to walk. And he says I'm pretty?
Yep, he's not well. The diagnosis has been made. Now what to do about the cure....?
Monday, December 17, 2007
Ah, 'tis the season
So when you think of Christmas, what do you think about?.... Winter? Summer? Christmas trees? Presents? Christs' birth? Lights on houses? Nothing?
I'm sure you all know the story of Christs' birth. And of how he fulfills all of the prophecies concerning the Messiah.
* Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
* Luke 1:27-38 To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.....And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
* Micah 5:2 But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.
* Luke 2: 4-5 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
* Hosea 11:1 When Israel was a child, then I loved him, and called my son out of Egypt
* Matthew 2:15 And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son.
* Judges 13:5 For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and no razor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines. (this is also talking about Sampson)
* Matthew 2:22-23 But when he heard that Archelaus did reign in Judaea in the room of his father Herod, he was afraid to go thither: notwithstanding, being warned of God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee. And he came and dwelt in a city called Nazareth: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, He shall be called a Nazarene.
(Of course there are many more prophecies concerning the Messiah that Jesus fulfilled, but these are the ones concerning his birth.)
Because of tradition, this is the time of year that we celebrate Jesus' birth. But the truth is, we don't know when he was born. December 25th was already a day within the pagan religion(s) that was already celebrated, so someone in authority decided to make it a "Christian" holiday as well to attract the pagans to Christianity. Before this time, Christs' birth was never celebrated. How could it be? No one knew the date. And it was never established as something to celebrate in the first place. In the Old Testament, God is very clear and precise on what to celebrate and when. It is very clear on when Jesus was crucified and when He rose again. But we are never told when He was born because it is not important and it was never something that God intended for us to celebrate in the first place.
Does that mean it's wrong to celebrate Christs' birth? No. No more then it's wrong to celebrate someone else's birthday. So why is there all this extra stuff involved with Christmas now? Why the Christmas trees? (Which is another pagan ritual incorporated in Christmas) Why Santa? Why reindeer? Why presents? (Some say it's to remember the gifts brought to Jesus by the wise men) If you are going to celebrate Jesus' birth, then do that. But don't add all this other nonsense. Christmas (or the idea of Christmas) is not about how cool you've decorate your house. Or how nice your tree looks. Or how many gifts are yours under the tree. ( I have a friend who takes great pride in the fact that she spends nearly $2,000 at Christmas time for her family. That amount just about makes me ill thinking about it.) It's about remembering the greatest gift ever given to anyone: that Jesus came to die for our sins, was raised from the dead, is victorious over death and sits at the right hand of the Father.
We do exchange gifts in our house (although Adam and I don't get the children anything. We figure they get enough from everyone else.). This last Saturday, there was a function that allowed the children to "shop" for their family members and the gifts were wrapped before they left. I gave each child ( minus Malachi) $3, and they bought one gift each for 7 people (obviously the prices were much cheaper then at Wal-mart). We have no problem with gifts, we just don't want our children to think that is all that this season is about. My children know there is no such thing as "Santa" and that Jesus was not born on December 25. We are teaching our children that they don't get gifts because they have been "nice". Because they haven't. They haven't even been "good enough". But they get things because they are loved.
Does that sound familiar? "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."
John 3:16-17
(For the record, we don't have a tree, decorations or Christmas lights either.)
I'm sure you all know the story of Christs' birth. And of how he fulfills all of the prophecies concerning the Messiah.
* Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
* Luke 1:27-38 To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.....And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
* Micah 5:2 But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting.
* Luke 2: 4-5 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
* Hosea 11:1 When Israel was a child, then I loved him, and called my son out of Egypt
* Matthew 2:15 And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son.
* Judges 13:5 For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and no razor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines. (this is also talking about Sampson)
* Matthew 2:22-23 But when he heard that Archelaus did reign in Judaea in the room of his father Herod, he was afraid to go thither: notwithstanding, being warned of God in a dream, he turned aside into the parts of Galilee. And he came and dwelt in a city called Nazareth: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophets, He shall be called a Nazarene.
(Of course there are many more prophecies concerning the Messiah that Jesus fulfilled, but these are the ones concerning his birth.)
Because of tradition, this is the time of year that we celebrate Jesus' birth. But the truth is, we don't know when he was born. December 25th was already a day within the pagan religion(s) that was already celebrated, so someone in authority decided to make it a "Christian" holiday as well to attract the pagans to Christianity. Before this time, Christs' birth was never celebrated. How could it be? No one knew the date. And it was never established as something to celebrate in the first place. In the Old Testament, God is very clear and precise on what to celebrate and when. It is very clear on when Jesus was crucified and when He rose again. But we are never told when He was born because it is not important and it was never something that God intended for us to celebrate in the first place.
Does that mean it's wrong to celebrate Christs' birth? No. No more then it's wrong to celebrate someone else's birthday. So why is there all this extra stuff involved with Christmas now? Why the Christmas trees? (Which is another pagan ritual incorporated in Christmas) Why Santa? Why reindeer? Why presents? (Some say it's to remember the gifts brought to Jesus by the wise men) If you are going to celebrate Jesus' birth, then do that. But don't add all this other nonsense. Christmas (or the idea of Christmas) is not about how cool you've decorate your house. Or how nice your tree looks. Or how many gifts are yours under the tree. ( I have a friend who takes great pride in the fact that she spends nearly $2,000 at Christmas time for her family. That amount just about makes me ill thinking about it.) It's about remembering the greatest gift ever given to anyone: that Jesus came to die for our sins, was raised from the dead, is victorious over death and sits at the right hand of the Father.
We do exchange gifts in our house (although Adam and I don't get the children anything. We figure they get enough from everyone else.). This last Saturday, there was a function that allowed the children to "shop" for their family members and the gifts were wrapped before they left. I gave each child ( minus Malachi) $3, and they bought one gift each for 7 people (obviously the prices were much cheaper then at Wal-mart). We have no problem with gifts, we just don't want our children to think that is all that this season is about. My children know there is no such thing as "Santa" and that Jesus was not born on December 25. We are teaching our children that they don't get gifts because they have been "nice". Because they haven't. They haven't even been "good enough". But they get things because they are loved.
Does that sound familiar? "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."
John 3:16-17
(For the record, we don't have a tree, decorations or Christmas lights either.)
Sunday, December 16, 2007
What I've been missing
It's interesting how easy it is for us to put blinders on; like the ones on horses, where you can't see to the right or to the left. We can only see right in front of us, and often times not that far ahead either. We can only concentrate on that one thing within our lives and totally miss everything else.
My eyes have been opened recently, to what I was missing. I was so focused on not wanting to be pregnant any more and how miserable (I thought) I was, I was missing the little joys around me. I was essentially ignoring the 5 gifts I have already received, while impatiently waiting for the 6th one to arrive.
I was missing the complete and satisfying way that my husband loves me and takes care of me. The strength that he shows and passes to me is unmeasurable. The example of a Godly life that he strives to live and model for our children is a rarity in our society.
I was missing the joy on Maacah's face as she learns new words and continues to love reading. The attempts she's making to be more of a helper to me around the house; her willingness and understanding to pray to God at any time about anything.
I was missing the little things that Grace does for her siblings, often times without being asked or saying a word about it. The servants heart that I am beginning to see in her and a smile that lights up her whole face.
I was missing Isaac's need for confirmation about where he fits in the family dynamics. His increasing independence and desire to be more of a help to everyone ~ "what I do, Mama?" he often asks me. The beautiful budding relationship that is growing between him and his brother already.
I was missing how much Malachi is growing. Not in height or weight, but in awareness and in ability. The way that his whole being lights up and giggles if you just smile at him. The amazing difference of his personality from his siblings is beginning to show through and the reminder of how unique and special we all are!
Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes before it was too late. Thank you for giving me the peace and calm that I desperately needed within my soul. I am able to truly enjoy the gifts that you have given to me. Gifts that I do not deserve, and yet you have deemed me worthy to have and to hold. "Thank you" is such a pitiful word to describe what I feel. But it is all I have. Thank you Lord.
My eyes have been opened recently, to what I was missing. I was so focused on not wanting to be pregnant any more and how miserable (I thought) I was, I was missing the little joys around me. I was essentially ignoring the 5 gifts I have already received, while impatiently waiting for the 6th one to arrive.
I was missing the complete and satisfying way that my husband loves me and takes care of me. The strength that he shows and passes to me is unmeasurable. The example of a Godly life that he strives to live and model for our children is a rarity in our society.
I was missing the joy on Maacah's face as she learns new words and continues to love reading. The attempts she's making to be more of a helper to me around the house; her willingness and understanding to pray to God at any time about anything.
I was missing the little things that Grace does for her siblings, often times without being asked or saying a word about it. The servants heart that I am beginning to see in her and a smile that lights up her whole face.
I was missing Isaac's need for confirmation about where he fits in the family dynamics. His increasing independence and desire to be more of a help to everyone ~ "what I do, Mama?" he often asks me. The beautiful budding relationship that is growing between him and his brother already.
I was missing how much Malachi is growing. Not in height or weight, but in awareness and in ability. The way that his whole being lights up and giggles if you just smile at him. The amazing difference of his personality from his siblings is beginning to show through and the reminder of how unique and special we all are!
Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes before it was too late. Thank you for giving me the peace and calm that I desperately needed within my soul. I am able to truly enjoy the gifts that you have given to me. Gifts that I do not deserve, and yet you have deemed me worthy to have and to hold. "Thank you" is such a pitiful word to describe what I feel. But it is all I have. Thank you Lord.
Friday, December 14, 2007
How about this funny?
(I'm taking a much need break from the "baby blues" today. I figured I've done enough whining to last me for quite awhile.)
The one thing about a bigger family is that when one person gets sick, it will get passed around and around and around..... And there's really nothing you can do about it. That's what we have been doing around here for the past few months. Playing that merry-go-round. Nothing really serious, just those colds that love to move in and not leave until Spring. Yeah, you know the kind.
I didn't really realize exactly how much, and for how long, we have all been sick with the sniffles until the other day. As you know with colds, noses are always being blown and an occasional "spitting" is necessary into the garbage can.
So as I was working at my sewing machine, Malachi comes into the room and starts to play. Then he gets up, walks to the garbage can next to me, puts his head over the container while he is making a spitting noise. I look at him and thought "did he do what I just thought he did?". Sure enough, a few minutes later, he stops playing, walks over to the garbage again and "spits" into it. And then, if that's not crazy enough, he finds a clean Kleenex on the floor, puts it up to his nose and pretends to blow.
Now I ask you, how funny is that?! He is obviously a very observant 17 moth old! Either that, or we haven't "gotten away" with not being as sick this year as we were last year.
And it seems that Maacah and I are getting another cold. Sigh. So much for healthy people for the baby.
* By the way, this might sound strange, (but I do believe it's working) I've decided that I will be pregnant on my due date. Why have I "decided" this? Because if I expect to be and I am, then I'm okay. And if I go "early", I'm okay. Mentally, I need to be in the frame of mind to expect that there will be at least 2 more weeks of pregnancy, regardless of the things that are changing within my body getting ready for the birth. If I keep thinking that at any moment I could go into labor, I'm going to go crazy. Again. So, I'm not going to do that. I have surrendered myself to God and to His timing. His perfect timing. And even though I am ready for the birth, the baby obviously is not. And that is what's important. There also will be no induction. As was pointed out to me, just the thought of inducing shows that I'm not truly waiting for God's timing. I've repented of that and I feel calmer. *
The one thing about a bigger family is that when one person gets sick, it will get passed around and around and around..... And there's really nothing you can do about it. That's what we have been doing around here for the past few months. Playing that merry-go-round. Nothing really serious, just those colds that love to move in and not leave until Spring. Yeah, you know the kind.
I didn't really realize exactly how much, and for how long, we have all been sick with the sniffles until the other day. As you know with colds, noses are always being blown and an occasional "spitting" is necessary into the garbage can.
So as I was working at my sewing machine, Malachi comes into the room and starts to play. Then he gets up, walks to the garbage can next to me, puts his head over the container while he is making a spitting noise. I look at him and thought "did he do what I just thought he did?". Sure enough, a few minutes later, he stops playing, walks over to the garbage again and "spits" into it. And then, if that's not crazy enough, he finds a clean Kleenex on the floor, puts it up to his nose and pretends to blow.
Now I ask you, how funny is that?! He is obviously a very observant 17 moth old! Either that, or we haven't "gotten away" with not being as sick this year as we were last year.
And it seems that Maacah and I are getting another cold. Sigh. So much for healthy people for the baby.
* By the way, this might sound strange, (but I do believe it's working) I've decided that I will be pregnant on my due date. Why have I "decided" this? Because if I expect to be and I am, then I'm okay. And if I go "early", I'm okay. Mentally, I need to be in the frame of mind to expect that there will be at least 2 more weeks of pregnancy, regardless of the things that are changing within my body getting ready for the birth. If I keep thinking that at any moment I could go into labor, I'm going to go crazy. Again. So, I'm not going to do that. I have surrendered myself to God and to His timing. His perfect timing. And even though I am ready for the birth, the baby obviously is not. And that is what's important. There also will be no induction. As was pointed out to me, just the thought of inducing shows that I'm not truly waiting for God's timing. I've repented of that and I feel calmer. *
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Is this the end?
I'm in serious trouble today. Really I am. My last post was upbeat and optimistic. But I'm not there today. I'm far, far from it. I'm trying to be. I'm trying really, really hard. And I'm praying really, really hard and earnestly. But it's not working. And this is worse then last Friday.
I feel I'm at my end. Not physically or even emotionally. But mentally. Mentally, I'm at my end. I know that physically I can go 4 weeks and 4 days longer. God forbid!! (I did that with Grace. She was 18 days over-due). But at that point, I didn't have 4 other children, only one. And that is making a big difference. Yes, I did go 12 days over with Isaac, but again, it was a different situation. The energy that it's taking, to take care of my family, home and to deal with these stupid contractions!, the emotional needs that are constantly being met and the mental preparedness that is essential...they are all taking a serious toll on me.
I have hesitated before about complaining about being pregnant because I didn't want to give anyone a good argument against having many children. But the truth is, pregnancy is hard work. And it only gets harder the more children you have. That certainly is not to say that the children are not worth it all (because they are!) and that we are foolish for trusting God. For who would be foolish for trusting the One who knows everything and how/when everything needs to happen? Can we claim to be that One? Of course not. But even though the children are worth everything we go through and God does know it all, it doesn't mean this is a walk in the park.
I am tired of being tired. I am tired of hurting (or at least very uncomfortable) most of the time. I seriously don't know how much longer I can go. Intellectually, I know Who has been carrying me and sustaining me thus far. And I know Who will be doing it tomorrow and for the rest of the future. But the idea of waking up tomorrow to another day without being in labor....is a very depressing thought. And I'm not one who gets easily depressed, so this bothers me greatly. My husband will probably think otherwise, but I think I'm struggling more mentally this time then I have before. Maybe because I'm trying so hard not to be the mental basket case that I have been in the past, it's back firing on me. Maybe it's because my mind has chosen to forget how it was before and I now look back and see that I handled it better. I don't know. I just know that I believe I'm at the end of my rope.
I can imagine what my husbands' reaction will be, but I'm seriously thinking about induction. You see, I'm due Dec. 27th and Adam has the 26th - Jan 6 off. My mother is here during that time as well. My mother-in-law is having surgery next Wed (Dec 19th). And so, if I go too far past the due date, I will have little to no help. Adam will go back to work, my mother will go home, my sister-in-laws work, and my mother-in-law will be out of commission for a long time (she's a slow healer). I will have no one, but myself and 5 children 7 and under. So, I'm thinking if I get to my due date and still no baby, I want to have a "back up plan" in the wings. Generally, I wouldn't seriously think about it because of my c-section with Maacah. I can only have so much pitocin, and then if they break my water and nothing happens, it's a c-section with out question. But I am already 1 cm and 60% effaced. So it's more likely that induction would work then if there was no change at all. I will talk to my doctor tomorrow about it. Of course, it isn't something I'd do if I didn't have Adam's support. If he's dead set against it, then it won't happen. But I absolutely don't want to get to the point of having this baby, only to have my support people be gone. That thought terrifies me. Of course I'll be "on my own" at some point, for but the first week or 2?!
So, here I sit, wanting to be optimistic and trying not to cry. So far today, the tears are winning....
I feel I'm at my end. Not physically or even emotionally. But mentally. Mentally, I'm at my end. I know that physically I can go 4 weeks and 4 days longer. God forbid!! (I did that with Grace. She was 18 days over-due). But at that point, I didn't have 4 other children, only one. And that is making a big difference. Yes, I did go 12 days over with Isaac, but again, it was a different situation. The energy that it's taking, to take care of my family, home and to deal with these stupid contractions!, the emotional needs that are constantly being met and the mental preparedness that is essential...they are all taking a serious toll on me.
I have hesitated before about complaining about being pregnant because I didn't want to give anyone a good argument against having many children. But the truth is, pregnancy is hard work. And it only gets harder the more children you have. That certainly is not to say that the children are not worth it all (because they are!) and that we are foolish for trusting God. For who would be foolish for trusting the One who knows everything and how/when everything needs to happen? Can we claim to be that One? Of course not. But even though the children are worth everything we go through and God does know it all, it doesn't mean this is a walk in the park.
I am tired of being tired. I am tired of hurting (or at least very uncomfortable) most of the time. I seriously don't know how much longer I can go. Intellectually, I know Who has been carrying me and sustaining me thus far. And I know Who will be doing it tomorrow and for the rest of the future. But the idea of waking up tomorrow to another day without being in labor....is a very depressing thought. And I'm not one who gets easily depressed, so this bothers me greatly. My husband will probably think otherwise, but I think I'm struggling more mentally this time then I have before. Maybe because I'm trying so hard not to be the mental basket case that I have been in the past, it's back firing on me. Maybe it's because my mind has chosen to forget how it was before and I now look back and see that I handled it better. I don't know. I just know that I believe I'm at the end of my rope.
I can imagine what my husbands' reaction will be, but I'm seriously thinking about induction. You see, I'm due Dec. 27th and Adam has the 26th - Jan 6 off. My mother is here during that time as well. My mother-in-law is having surgery next Wed (Dec 19th). And so, if I go too far past the due date, I will have little to no help. Adam will go back to work, my mother will go home, my sister-in-laws work, and my mother-in-law will be out of commission for a long time (she's a slow healer). I will have no one, but myself and 5 children 7 and under. So, I'm thinking if I get to my due date and still no baby, I want to have a "back up plan" in the wings. Generally, I wouldn't seriously think about it because of my c-section with Maacah. I can only have so much pitocin, and then if they break my water and nothing happens, it's a c-section with out question. But I am already 1 cm and 60% effaced. So it's more likely that induction would work then if there was no change at all. I will talk to my doctor tomorrow about it. Of course, it isn't something I'd do if I didn't have Adam's support. If he's dead set against it, then it won't happen. But I absolutely don't want to get to the point of having this baby, only to have my support people be gone. That thought terrifies me. Of course I'll be "on my own" at some point, for but the first week or 2?!
So, here I sit, wanting to be optimistic and trying not to cry. So far today, the tears are winning....
Saturday, December 8, 2007
When our hearts are opened
What is it about personal struggles that make things a bit more clearer? Perhaps you're finally in the right mind set or maybe it's your spirit that is. Either way, there is just a hint of the broader picture that you get a glimpse of, that otherwise you would have been too busy to see. As Christians, when we are struggling with something, what do (or should) we do? We seek God. Faithfully, continually and honestly. Why now and not at other times? Because we are seeking answers, relief, direction. It is when we are in that mind set that God gives us a glimpse of what He is about. Of what we are about. and our lives and the dealings
-++ within our lives are put in prospective.
I've been crying out to God in the past recently more then I have for awhile. And I'm finding a peace and a patient spirit within me that I never knew was there. That's not to say that I'm what I should be 100% of the time, because I'm not. Yesterday was a bad day. I was struggling very greatly with my attitude and negative feelings. I'm not sure why, for up until that point, the whole week went really well. But I refused to give into those feelings. I still refused to plead that I give birth now (for that really is what my struggle is about) and I pleaded, instead, for Him to give me the ability to resist these damaging attitudes, to not give into the emotions that my flesh wanted to possess me with. It wasn't easy. With my whole being, I wanted to weep and plead and beg for the time to be now for the baby to be born and not to have to wait any longer. I wanted to complain and mope around in the worst way. In short, I wanted sympathy.
But I chose instead to listen to that quite voice within me. To resist the desire to have the spot light on myself and to keep it where it belongs. I am not mistaken. I am not fooled. I know where this strength and endurance is coming from. It is coming from Above, and not from within. I can't say that I am completely content to wait for His perfect timing, because that would be a lie. I still have days like yesterday. But I can say that that is my goal and I am doing better then I have before with my other pregnancies (for this is not a new struggle for me).
Please don't think for one minute that I am posting myself as an example of what to do. More like an example of what not to do. I am not like Paul; Don't follow me! But do learn from my mistakes. And learn from the things I have learned. That is part of what fellowship with other believers is about. To learn from one another.
And what have I learned? To not wait until I'm in a struggle to be in a state of continual "crying out" to God. But to do that always and to urn for His continual presence in my life. His presence does not mean we are aware He exists and that is it. But that we seek Him out, we talk to Him, we make Him a part our everyday life. Especially when we don't think we "need" Him.
For in truth, those are the times that we truly need Him the most.
-++ within our lives are put in prospective.
I've been crying out to God in the past recently more then I have for awhile. And I'm finding a peace and a patient spirit within me that I never knew was there. That's not to say that I'm what I should be 100% of the time, because I'm not. Yesterday was a bad day. I was struggling very greatly with my attitude and negative feelings. I'm not sure why, for up until that point, the whole week went really well. But I refused to give into those feelings. I still refused to plead that I give birth now (for that really is what my struggle is about) and I pleaded, instead, for Him to give me the ability to resist these damaging attitudes, to not give into the emotions that my flesh wanted to possess me with. It wasn't easy. With my whole being, I wanted to weep and plead and beg for the time to be now for the baby to be born and not to have to wait any longer. I wanted to complain and mope around in the worst way. In short, I wanted sympathy.
But I chose instead to listen to that quite voice within me. To resist the desire to have the spot light on myself and to keep it where it belongs. I am not mistaken. I am not fooled. I know where this strength and endurance is coming from. It is coming from Above, and not from within. I can't say that I am completely content to wait for His perfect timing, because that would be a lie. I still have days like yesterday. But I can say that that is my goal and I am doing better then I have before with my other pregnancies (for this is not a new struggle for me).
Please don't think for one minute that I am posting myself as an example of what to do. More like an example of what not to do. I am not like Paul; Don't follow me! But do learn from my mistakes. And learn from the things I have learned. That is part of what fellowship with other believers is about. To learn from one another.
And what have I learned? To not wait until I'm in a struggle to be in a state of continual "crying out" to God. But to do that always and to urn for His continual presence in my life. His presence does not mean we are aware He exists and that is it. But that we seek Him out, we talk to Him, we make Him a part our everyday life. Especially when we don't think we "need" Him.
For in truth, those are the times that we truly need Him the most.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Where oh where has my belly gone?...oh yeah. It's still here.
Another day is here. Another morning spent watching the sunrise. It really is a beautiful thing to watch, even though I'd much rather be sleeping. But that doesn't seem to be a possibility these days. Not with all the contractions I'm still having, even if they don't seem to be doing anything. Except for making me sore and annoyed. I'm 37 weeks along today and, quite frankly, the idea of 3 more weeks of this is very troubling to me. I'm not even thinking about going longer then 3 weeks, so don't even mention it. Yes, I know it's more of a possibility then me going "early", but I'm at the point where I can only take one day at time. Sometimes only in hour fragments, so certainly not in a week fragment. You don't want to totally undue me, do you?
I suppose some women breeze through all their pregnancies without fretting and such. Up until this point, I have too. It's just when you are increasingly big and uncomfortable, it's hard to wait. Especially when you don't play the waiting game well. And I don't, by the way. It sure didn't help that at my 36 week appointment, I was dilated already. The most I have been dilated before going into labor was 2 cm, and that was with the child who was a c-section. But nothing has ever happened this "early". I'd rather nothing happen until it was time. That way, when I'm told at the doctor's office that nothing has changed, it's not quite as discouraging. Usually anyway.
But, I'm resolved not to beg anymore to God. He knows what I want, what my desire is (to have this baby now!). But He is sovern. And His will be done. He knows what is best for me and the baby (not to mention everyone else that will be involved in the birth and the watching of our other children) and that regardless of what I want or think, His way is best. I've prayed for patience and I suppose the only way I'm going to achieve that request is to wait until His timing has come. I don't want to become the raging lunatic that I have been in the past about this time ~although I'm far more uncomfortable with all these contractions and stuff going on for so long. But all the more reason for Christ to shine through me, isn't it?~ and I certainly don't want to look back on this period of time as something I'm embarrassed about. Again.
So, I'm trying to play the waiting game with a bit more grace and calmness then I have had before. I made the 250+ cookies that I have volunteered to make for this weekend (we have a Christmas play that Adam and I are involved in) and we have all but one gift done for our family's Christmas party next Saturday. My commitments are taken care of and school is going well (meaning we are caught up and our new schedule is working out really, really well).
So...umm...I'm ready to have a baby. God?
I suppose some women breeze through all their pregnancies without fretting and such. Up until this point, I have too. It's just when you are increasingly big and uncomfortable, it's hard to wait. Especially when you don't play the waiting game well. And I don't, by the way. It sure didn't help that at my 36 week appointment, I was dilated already. The most I have been dilated before going into labor was 2 cm, and that was with the child who was a c-section. But nothing has ever happened this "early". I'd rather nothing happen until it was time. That way, when I'm told at the doctor's office that nothing has changed, it's not quite as discouraging. Usually anyway.
But, I'm resolved not to beg anymore to God. He knows what I want, what my desire is (to have this baby now!). But He is sovern. And His will be done. He knows what is best for me and the baby (not to mention everyone else that will be involved in the birth and the watching of our other children) and that regardless of what I want or think, His way is best. I've prayed for patience and I suppose the only way I'm going to achieve that request is to wait until His timing has come. I don't want to become the raging lunatic that I have been in the past about this time ~although I'm far more uncomfortable with all these contractions and stuff going on for so long. But all the more reason for Christ to shine through me, isn't it?~ and I certainly don't want to look back on this period of time as something I'm embarrassed about. Again.
So, I'm trying to play the waiting game with a bit more grace and calmness then I have had before. I made the 250+ cookies that I have volunteered to make for this weekend (we have a Christmas play that Adam and I are involved in) and we have all but one gift done for our family's Christmas party next Saturday. My commitments are taken care of and school is going well (meaning we are caught up and our new schedule is working out really, really well).
So...umm...I'm ready to have a baby. God?
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
It's too early and I'm wide eyed and bushy tailed. Help!!
You hear many different comments when your pregnant. Some really interesting ones, like "if your belly itches, they baby has hair". Some funny ones, like " the more you waddle, the closer to birth you are". And some comments that leave you scratching your head, like " if you can still see your toes, you are not close to the birth". Right.... I don't know why, but there is something about being obviously pregnant that leads people to give you the strangest comments/opinions. So when I tell people that I'm not sleeping well or sleeping much these days (which explains why I'm writing this at 4:50 in the morning), they say "you're just getting ready for when the baby is born". Well, no not really. I actually get more sleep once the child is born then I do before. ( and people marvel that I actually look forward to labor. Ha!)
I have a doctor's appointment today and I'm praying that something has changed. I've been having contractions and such all this week (meaning from last Wed. until now) and it would be nice if they were being helpful, instead of just annoying. It's kind of like, if they're going to be happening like they have been, and then don't "do" anything, then what's the point?
But seriously though, I've been doing better. I had a crummy attitude over the weekend. But Monday and yesterday were much, much better. Hopefully today will be a good one, too. It's a moment by moment thing for me, but I think I'm at peace with God being in control. I know that sounds like a funny thing to say. Of course He's in control. Duh! But what I mean is, I'm not praying with everything contraction that this is the beginning of labor. I'm purposely not letting myself get into that mind set. It is nothing but destructive. It's worked for the last two days, here's hoping for today.
I'll keep ya' posted about what transpires at the doctor's office today.
I have a doctor's appointment today and I'm praying that something has changed. I've been having contractions and such all this week (meaning from last Wed. until now) and it would be nice if they were being helpful, instead of just annoying. It's kind of like, if they're going to be happening like they have been, and then don't "do" anything, then what's the point?
But seriously though, I've been doing better. I had a crummy attitude over the weekend. But Monday and yesterday were much, much better. Hopefully today will be a good one, too. It's a moment by moment thing for me, but I think I'm at peace with God being in control. I know that sounds like a funny thing to say. Of course He's in control. Duh! But what I mean is, I'm not praying with everything contraction that this is the beginning of labor. I'm purposely not letting myself get into that mind set. It is nothing but destructive. It's worked for the last two days, here's hoping for today.
I'll keep ya' posted about what transpires at the doctor's office today.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
A little bit of this, a little bit of that
Well, my birthday went pretty good. Far better then the morning did. The best part of that day? Malachi is free to stay off the medication and we won't see the doctor again for another year! Yay!! His EKG came out good, but, in all honesty, it came out good before he was on the medication too. There are two "wire" in your heart; one swirling to the right and the other to the left. One of those "wires" is a slower conductor of electricity, which has caused his heart rate to stay lower, even with the SVT. So it was a much smaller window of opportunity to actually catch it on an EKG then it would have been with a "normal" patient. That is all to say that even though it was not caught on the EKG on Wednesday, it doesn't mean he has out-grown this condition for sure. But the doctor saw him, listened to him and said that he looks good and is growing well, she doesn't see any reason that things haven't changed. And with the things that we have noticed about his behavior (the lack of response to an episode that we have seen before), she felt comfortable with seeing us in a year and trusting our judgement. All in all, it was a very good outcome. And she didn't feel the need to have him wear a 24 hour heart monitor, either.
After his appointment, we went out to lunch at the Chinese buffet and it was good. For once, I didn't walk away with a stomach ache because I ate too much. :0) Then we went shopping and we picked up two wooden chairs at Goodwill for $.99 each!
We came home and I went to my doctor's appointment and got a bit of a surprise: I'm dilated to 1 cm. For most women, that's not big deal. But, for me at the point, being dilated to 1 cm is the same as being dilated to 3 cm for others. This is a new thing for me (this early). The most I've ever dilated before labor started was 2 cm, and that was after I was 38 weeks. Turns out that all these cramps and what not that I've been feeling for the past 2 weeks or so, have actually been doing something ~ other then making me uncomfortable, that is. They're not painful.... yet. But they certainly don't make me smile.
Both my in-laws think that I'm going to "go" before my due date. I know I have said before that I 'm praying for the baby to wait so that my mother can be here for the birth. And I'd still like that. But I'm not praying for it anymore. I'm at peace knowing that God is in control and He know when the best time for this baby to be born. He knows everything that is going in the mix, when all "players" are in a good place for this baby to be born. And, I can't honestly say that I'd be upset if the baby came "early". When you're already 36+ weeks, and no complications, what pregnant women would be?
The only kink is Adam. He has asked for the days of Dec. 26 - Jan. 6 off. And if this baby is born earlier, what are we doing to do about him having to work? But again, the Lord knows all this and it will all be worked out for the best. Basically, I'm okay if the baby comes early. And I'm okay if the baby comes when my mother is here. God knows best.
So, I had a good birthday (Adam even took me out for dinner, too!). And I've been praying that God would make the time pass quickly until "D Day", with things to distract me and keep me busy. And that He would give me the patience, endurance and strength needed to see me through the next couple of days/weeks. With 4, never without energy children and a body that never has energy on it's own, I need that stuff from Him. I can't tell you how many days I've gotten through knowing it was not from my own reserve. So I know He will continue to be faithful.
After his appointment, we went out to lunch at the Chinese buffet and it was good. For once, I didn't walk away with a stomach ache because I ate too much. :0) Then we went shopping and we picked up two wooden chairs at Goodwill for $.99 each!
We came home and I went to my doctor's appointment and got a bit of a surprise: I'm dilated to 1 cm. For most women, that's not big deal. But, for me at the point, being dilated to 1 cm is the same as being dilated to 3 cm for others. This is a new thing for me (this early). The most I've ever dilated before labor started was 2 cm, and that was after I was 38 weeks. Turns out that all these cramps and what not that I've been feeling for the past 2 weeks or so, have actually been doing something ~ other then making me uncomfortable, that is. They're not painful.... yet. But they certainly don't make me smile.
Both my in-laws think that I'm going to "go" before my due date. I know I have said before that I 'm praying for the baby to wait so that my mother can be here for the birth. And I'd still like that. But I'm not praying for it anymore. I'm at peace knowing that God is in control and He know when the best time for this baby to be born. He knows everything that is going in the mix, when all "players" are in a good place for this baby to be born. And, I can't honestly say that I'd be upset if the baby came "early". When you're already 36+ weeks, and no complications, what pregnant women would be?
The only kink is Adam. He has asked for the days of Dec. 26 - Jan. 6 off. And if this baby is born earlier, what are we doing to do about him having to work? But again, the Lord knows all this and it will all be worked out for the best. Basically, I'm okay if the baby comes early. And I'm okay if the baby comes when my mother is here. God knows best.
So, I had a good birthday (Adam even took me out for dinner, too!). And I've been praying that God would make the time pass quickly until "D Day", with things to distract me and keep me busy. And that He would give me the patience, endurance and strength needed to see me through the next couple of days/weeks. With 4, never without energy children and a body that never has energy on it's own, I need that stuff from Him. I can't tell you how many days I've gotten through knowing it was not from my own reserve. So I know He will continue to be faithful.
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